Blog
Let’s face it - the reality of the Holiday season is no Women’s Network movie. For so many of us, the Holidays can feel like a juggling act of cry-filled trips to Santa, lunch break trips to the mall for gifts, burnt sugar cookies, frantically arranging elf on the damn shelf every morning before work, midnight on Christmas eve gift-wrapping, & pretending to enjoy someone's homemade huckleberry wine (the only option being served at their party).
Something I see often, especially in elementary aged children, is the development of anxiety surrounding school. Most parents are familiar with the first-day-of-school or back-to-school stress and anxiety in their children, and while the height of the anxiety is usually anticipatory anxiety surrounding the first day, most children who experience back-to-school anxiety will experience anxiety from other stressors throughout the school year. By properly supporting and educating children on how to deal with back-to-school anxiety, they will be better prepared to manage the top three major stressors they will feel throughout the year!
I discuss this fine line with clients a lot!
There is functional and non-functional perfectionism - perfectionism can be functional and useful if it as long as it is not paralyzing you. Perfectionism becomes non-functional & unhelpful when the stress of reaching perfect paralyzes you from doing anything because you’re afraid that the result won’t be perfect.
Non-functional Perfectionists often have a low tolerance for a learning curve. Perfectionism may also discourage you from starting or learning something new because you’re not going to be as good as it as your perfectionist standards demand. You feel you need to be good at something immediately or its not worth it.
This “immobilization” experienced by those who have non-functional perfectionism can be rooted in many fears such as fear of failure, fear of judgement, etc.
It's not that Perfectionists don't know how to organize, in fact it's often the exact opposite! Perfectionists often know lots of different organizational techniques and methods. The stress of choosing the BEST method to organize leaves the immobilized in starting organizing at all! Thus, it is not uncommon to see a Perfectionist with a messy room - in fact, it is totally normal!
"Nothing is going to look good ENOUGH." The fear of yielding an imperfect result has made the task of organizing a messy room too overwhelming to even start.
The truth is there is no such this as perfect. Striving for perfection is an aimless goal.The result of perfectionism is often that you get ZERO done. You’d rather get 0% on a test, rather than put all your energy in and still come up short. If you struggle with getting started due to your perfectionist standards, it’s important to remember that seeing someone elses end result is not what it looked like in the beginning. The end result is often multiple edits, years of practice, etc.
Not starting because you’d rather not try for fear of coming up short, goes against the very truth that SUCCESS (not perfection), comes with practice! So next time you want to turn away from a new opportunity for fear of a “less than perfect” result, remember each effort is part of your path to success.
Let us know if this was helpful in the comments below!
Say for example there was a Spider 🕷 exhibit on at the Museum of Natural History! Many people suffering from anxiety may experience anxiety from attending the exhibit, however the trigger causing the anxiety may be very different - this can be attributed to the type of anxiety the are suffering from. For example:
Phobia Anxiety: may experience anxiety from their phobia of spiders.
Social Anxiety: may experience anxiety from being around a crowd and anticipating/experiencing lots of interaction.
Generalized anxiety: may experience anxiety from excessive worrying about the event with no specific or obvious reasons to worry.
One of the primary reasons it is so important to identify what type of anxiety you have, is because the treatment approach can be very different depending on the kind of anxiety you are experiencing!
For instance, with OCD and phobia based anxieties, exposure treatment is often effective. Where as for generalized anxiety and social anxiety, mindfulness & relaxation are key pillars to treatment!
Practice mantras when you're not feeling anxious, that way in moments of anxiety you can feel prepared, not frantic.
Create simple, straight-forward mantras that can be remembered and repeated easily! Trying to remember & rehearse long monologues can be more of a stress trigger than a relaxation trigger.
Creating mantras to manage anxiety can be really helpful! Overtime, and with practice, this becomes a trigger to stimulate relaxation. 🧘🏻♀️ Some of my favourite mantras are for anxiety:
Although these are some of my faves, the truth about mantra creation is that what works for one person may not work for another. Create and experiment with what words & phrases feel right in supporting you in moments of anxiety!
Let us know your favourite mantras in the comments below!
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